A daisy, once.

I was a daisy tall and proud and unsuspecting, vibrant yellows and bright whites. You came into my life a strangler vine, all broken words and little lies. I fell for the version of you I wanted so badly to exist, you were an orchid in my mind. Our relationship was built on failing soil, I shouldn’t be surprised. Time passed, you coiled yourself around my stem — thin and flimsy, the daisies biggest flaw— and drew tighter until I was limp with tire. The sun became a distant friend and my throat remained parched. Somehow I made it out alive, and began to peel myself from the concrete path you’d left me. During this time a flower bloomed in place of one of your thorns, my last petal dropped simultaneously. You grew beautiful. I died.

{I have always been someone self assure and unapologetic. I wrote this free verse some months after my boyfriend had cheated on me with a bunch of girls and become abusive towards ms,- or, after I found out, should I say- thinking back on it he was a let down our entire relationship, we lasted as long as we had because of the version of him I believed could exist, and wanted so badly to… I convinced he would change, that I could change him.

Finally I woke up and realised after a year and a half that there was no changing. I confronted him and made him take ownership for everything he had done to me… we both liquified into a mess of emotions. Though, it seems he found closure in the truth and was able to grow into a better person. Which of course I’m thankful for. But it will never heal the emotional, and in some cases physical wounds he inflicted upon me. As he rode the high that is motivation to learn from your mistakes and become better because of them, I deteriorated in my toxic puddle of insecurities. The message that I’m trying to get across with this piece is that yes, you often love them. And no, they’re often not inherently bad, and at least in my case they’re capable of change. But once you’ve been struck by someone else’s hand you never quite recover, and that’s something everyone needs to understand. There’s no do over button in life. And abuse is something too serious to make the mistake of.