Stop the hurting Stop the hurting End domestic violence Stop the Hurting End domestic violence

It can happen to anyone

Domestic and family violence doesn’t just mean physical abuse—it can be psychological or emotional or financial. It might be happening to you, your mum, your dad or your siblings, or your friends. No matter who, it’s wrong.

That’s why we want you to know that you deserve a life free of fear, especially in your home.

So together, let’s #stopthehurting and #enddomesticviolence.

#stopthehurting—song release

Last year we teamed up with hip hop star Illy and young Queenslanders to shine the spotlight on domestic and family violence and #stopthehurting. Kids from everywhere brought their voice to the Stop the Hurting campaign. A shout out goes to all the hip hop artists in the making for your amazing entries in the music slam competition. And big congratulations go to Travis Lord, winner of the competition. Travis went in-studio with Illy to record the final verse to Illy’s track Back Around, with his own original lyrics.

Download the full song to keep*

* download only available until 17 June 2018 but is yours to keep

Travis’s winning lyrics

You know you gotta get better, but the world’s expecting too much

For me you’re just a person and the helps not enough

People staring, people looking, feel like a thousand people judging

People try to clear your mind but your depressions not budgin’

The hate that you’ve been through, the pain you subject to

The people you should trust are the ones that have hurt you

They’ve abused their power hangin’ over your head
Man they coulda raised you right but put your hands on you instead

But they’re stronger than you, thought you got up and you fought

You’re proud of who you are cos you’re hear and standing tall

Now the facts are laid out, there’s no reason to doubt

And at the top of my lungs you’ll be hearing me shout

And I say

Chorus

What is domestic and family violence?

Any relationship where another person is abusive, violent, intimidating, threatening, or is making you feel scared is considered domestic and family violence.

Every family has times when they disagree and don’t get along. But there’s a difference between not getting along, and hurting, humiliating, threatening or frightening other family members.

Domestic and family violence can take many shapes. It’s important to know that it’s not always physical things, like kicking and punching. It can be financial, like controlling someone by not giving them money or getting angry about money, or psychological, like abusive text messages, demanding phone calls or constantly monitoring a partner’s activity.

Sound scary? It’s all domestic violence and none of it is okay.

Physical

This is the form of violence many of us are most familiar with and involves causing physical harm to control another person. For example:

  • kicking
  • punching
  • choking
  • purposely knocking over or causing other kinds of injury.

Financial

Financial abuse can start with subtle, controlling behaviour and can end in complete control over another person’s finances. For example:

  • withholding money
  • getting angry about the amount of money spent
  • stopping one person from working.

Psychological

Psychological abuse can affect your inner thoughts and feelings as well as exerting control over your life. Examples are:

  • destroying personal items that belong to someone else to frighten them
  • sending a stream of abusive text messages or demanding phone calls
  • constantly keeping check of where a partner is and what they’re doing.

Emotional

Emotional abuse is difficult to identify, but it can lower your self-esteem and confidence, impacting on your mental health and wellbeing. Examples are:

  • name calling
  • intentionally embarrassing your partner
  • telling your partner what to wear
  • preventing your partner from seeing their friends and family.

Healthy families trust, support and show respect for one another. Family members communicate with each other, and listen to one another. Examples of positive, respectful behaviours include:

  • interacting respectfully so that family members feel safe listening to each other
  • being supportive of your family
  • respecting others’ feelings, friends, activities and opinions so everyone feels safe to speak openly and honestly without fear of judgement
  • taking responsibility for your behaviour, for example, admitting when you are wrong
  • making family decisions together and sharing family responsibilities.

When faced with any kind of abuse, you may feel a range of things, including sick, anxious, depressed, guilty or ashamed. You may not feel like hanging with your friends. You may not want to do school work, or talk at all. These feelings are completely normal in this situation, but it’s okay to ask for help at any point in time. Find out who you can talk to here.

Help is always available

Try talking to your school’s guidance counsellor, nurse, chaplain or a support service:

If you or someone in your family is in danger and you fear for your safety, please immediately call triple zero (000) and ask for the Queensland Police Service. Stay safe.

For adults

DV Connect provides a range of services 24/7 to adults experiencing the effects of domestic and family violence. You can call: